When the meaning of Christmas changes

What does this holiday season really mean for you?

It was filled with so many meanings for me in the past but it has changed a bit over the years.

Six years ago my house was filled with Christmas decorations, all over the house, each room had something in it.

Porcelain candles with little chimneys. The huge tree. Imported nativity scene and home-made stable. The front door red and green wreath. The back door a smaller gold one. The lounge was decorated with large wreath separating the dining room with red candy canes. Little African angels in the lounge. Wire Xmas trees everywhere. Two dancing father Christmas’ that I’ve had since the boys were little. The kids rooms had miniature trees, porcelain candle, a beautiful Xmas boot (stocking) hanging in the cupboard door. Permanent red table-cloth on the dining room table. Christmas carols. Growing pile of presents under the tree. Xmas crackers. Those silly hats. Tinsel just about everywhere. Numerous phone calls about where we were spending Christmas evening this year. Lots of debate around the food!

Then six years ago my dad passed away – that was 23 December 2006  – and when that tree came down it went straight to Avril Elizabeth Home along with most of the decorations.

The happy silly season was officially over for us, especially for me.

All I know is that in 2008 we sort of had Christmas again because my sister was visiting from Italy and that is when I met my ten month old nephew – there was a tree of some sorts and a bit of fun and laughter around the presents and dress up of Father Christmas. Still no tree in 2009 we traveled to Cape Town for the holiday and then in 2010 we went to the bush and spent the holiday with lions and the camel thorn tree instead of the one with shiny lights and baubles. That was the new normal for us.

I did buy a small fiber-optics-tree somewhere in the last six years but it’s awful. The boys hate it, and so do I but I just can’t get myself into the mood of standing on chair and reaching the top to put the star and decorating the house like I used to.

Time passes and the wound has healed but when we get to this month it still does not feel right. The meaning of Christmas has changed for me.

Its 2012 and we are going down to Kenton-on-Sea we are back in the early new year so there really is no point in decorating. No one will see it, we are not home to enjoy it anyway. In the mean time I am preparing for the great big baking marathon, there are gifts neatly wrapped and Xmas crackers and pretty serviettes and the red table-cloth is going with.

But for now I’m left with the memory of the last Christmas my boys had with granddad in 2005 DSCF0215

11 thoughts on “When the meaning of Christmas changes

    • ah thank you Mel, it’s ok really the memories are wonderful and make me smile but I just can’t get round to decorating…maybe next year

  1. Reblogged this on The Mother Load and commented:
    While we are talking about how different religions celebrate the holidays here on my blog, this story reminds us of the basic human condition – peace of heart. Sometimes, what we “miss out on” or “give up” due to our chosen points of view (an agendas) are never as sorely missed as when we miss People.

  2. Como eu gostava de estar ai.. para te dar um abraço muito, muito apertadinho.. as saudades são muitas! bjinhos para todos, com todo nosso amor.Que Deus vos abênçoe!

  3. My tio would be so proud of his grandsons. He is always dearly dearly missed at this time of year, and xmas has never been the same without him. Yes we have had new additions to the family to lift the spirits, but we still miss him….and only he could slice that turkey like no one else….quem quer perna!!!

    • thank you cous, oh yes I remember ‘quem quer perna’ we all screamed me, although we knew it belonged to D 😀

  4. Sending you lots of hugs. I hope time would make it easier to bear and that the good times you had with him will help you through the tough times.

    Soul Sister I had a little bit of chuckle about the fibre optic tree. I got one 2 years ago and I hate it, though I am yet to replace it.

    • Thanks my soul sister, with time it does get easier but when we reach December and it’s Christmas again then it all comes back in buckets.

      Ok so next year maybe we can meet @ Eastgate and we go and get two decent Christmas trees, one for and one for you. Is that a date?

      • Yes, we have a date. My friend tells me to go look on Dec 26th as all the shops would want to get rid of their trees then. Who would have thought 🙂

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