Electric Chair

What’s the age restriction on a horror movie? Whatever it is, it applies to this creepy scary story.

I can’t remember having bad experiences when I was a child, actually I think the memories are all pretty OK. I remember one dentist used to have a funny poster on the ceiling. You could stare at it while he was busy drilling and filling it was like a ‘where’s wally’ type of poster. Very entertaining.

But I don’t know what it is about that chair, I break out into cold sweats every time I’m there.

You know when a woman tells you that she’d rather visit the gynecologist than the dentist, well then believe her and believe me – I would definitely rather visit the gynae than the dentist!

A visit with him lasts about 15 minutes in total that includes the pre-examination chat. He uses two instruments (and that’s a lot) and he whistles throughout the examination. He says; “beautiful, everything is beautiful” (it must be the fairy dust/glitter) and then we’re done, and we reschedule for six months later. Easy.

The dentist?! Wow, that’s like expecting a visit on the electric chair, one finger on the button, a thousand bolts and my feet in a bucket of water!

Story behind my fear – I have no idea where it comes from all I know is that when I chew gum I can only handle half a beechie bubble gum – half! You know how small one whole one is? Well I can’t put the whole thing in my mouth it makes me gag…all that spit and juice, yugh!

When I brush my teeth, I can’t keep the brush and all that tooth paste in my mouth for too long, it also makes me gag. I have to be careful how far the brush goes, cause if it’s too far down my throat it’s a definite puke.

What I need – two rescue tablets before the visit. Before some visits a small tablet to dry out the saliva. In the chair it’s happy gas and the injection – pump it up, double it up doc. And a huge pile of tissues on my tummy for spitting.

In the chair – one and a half hours and there’s a million instruments in my mouth and two hands. The injection has made me feel like I can’t breathe from the one nostril it’s numb. I close my eyes and breath in the gas hoping and praying that this is over soon. All I hear is open wide, little more, open wide, ok, you can close a bit, ok, open wide, swallow!

What? Are you mad? Swallow is never going to happen unless you bring that chair up real quick and a bucket on my right side so I can puke. My mouth produces more saliva than normal when I’m lying there in that chair. The sound of the drill thing is worse than gunshots, thunder and ambulances flying past you at 180 k’s. That sound alone is enough to make me want to pee in my pants with fear, then there’s the smell. I don’t know why but it has a horrid smell when he uses that grinding drilling thing. And I can’t breathe. Firstly because there’s too much stuff in my mouth if I breath through the mouth I might have to swallow (and that’s not going to happen). If I breath through the nose I can smell it and then I will gag and definitely puke. So I don’t breath for however long he keeps that thing going in my mouth. Can you imagine lying in the electric chair and suffocating yourself to death? *scream* it’s absolute horror for me.

So now I’m cold, cold sweats. I clench and my legs won’t sit still it’s a tremble all the time. Then he takes a mould of my teeth. Oh crap! That stuff at the top of my mouth going too far back on the roof like down the throat…yeah it’s one of those bucket moments. All the time he tells me to open wide, a bit more, ok, a bit more, relax, you can swallow. That’s when the tissues are used, I take my own and use a stack of them and keep spitting in them. When the gas is on I can feel my head going funny almost a drunk state (I think, I’ve never been drunk) but it is a drugged feeling, light headed, then my arms relax and I don’t want to clench anymore. My legs worry me cause there’s no lady like manner on his chair when they feel like they are just falling wide apart, open and I’m nearly losing my shoes.

I’m going to stop now, this is scaring me, I can hear footsteps in the passage it’s not the tooth fairy its someone or something with a dentist drill euuu!! Really I did not exaggerate one bit, this is my experience in the chair. So now you know why I’d rather visit the gynae. When I leave the dentist I just want to run home and brush my teeth, although sometimes they say nothing in mouth for two hours, and I always, always have a craving for nik naks!! Crazy. I am crazy. But I am also very scared of the dentist.

Having said all of that my dentist is very professional, soft spoken, patient and gentle. He’s also forgiving – I bit him once. Today I had to hold his hand so he could wait a bit while I gagged and nearly cried. Embarrassing, he is also a friend of the family, what does he think of this crazy person? #Willie

He is the man I just love to hate. In two weeks’ time I have to go back to finish my crown treatment ;(

HELP, I’m running for the hills…..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s